More like Star Trek Into Disappointment

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS – Don’t get mad, I warned you, SPOILERS

star-trek-2-into-darkness-posterHaving never been a Trekkie, no one was more surprised than me when I loved the 2009 franchise reboot from JJ Abrams. I kind of love it a lot. I own it and watch it sometimes and enjoy it immensely every time. Abrams made Star Trek accessible, trading in the Deep Thoughts with Kirk and Spock for fast-paced action grounded by very humane character moments. I know a lot the Trek fandom was annoyed at Abrams’ tone and just, everything really, but Star Trek had for so long been the tiniest kid given the biggest wedgie and stuffed in the grossest locker, and Abrams made it cool again. He made it okay to like Star Trek.Continue reading “More like Star Trek Into Disappointment”

The Great Gatsby is as beautiful and hollow as Jay Gatsby’s world

Great-Gatsby-posterTake this review with a grain of salt: I am not a huge F. Scott Fitzgerald fan. He’s arguably the most overrated author in the American canon. That said, his seminal work, The Great Gatsby, is definitely one of his best efforts (Bernice Bobs Her Hair is his best work, period). And before you start yelling at me, I know that’s an unpopular opinion but I do base mine on having read every single thing Fitzgerald has written, all hundred-and-whatever stories, and ending up underwhelmed by the sum total of his output. Still. Gatsby is good.Continue reading “The Great Gatsby is as beautiful and hollow as Jay Gatsby’s world”

Tony Stark finds new ways to surprise on his third time out

iron_man_3_poster_finalIron Man 3 is the fourth time—fifth if you count this—that we’ve seen Robert Downey, Jr. as Tony Stark. At this point, there is no avoiding the touch of franchise fatigue that haunts the latest in Marvel’s “Cinematic Universe”, Iron Man 3. But, amazingly, for all that Tony and his world feel well-worn and lived in, Iron Man 3 manages to surprise and delight in turns, bringing an unexpected freshness to the official start of Marvel’s Phase Two. It’s a bit like a pair of old jeans you’d forgotten fit, only to put them on one day and realize—hey, these jeans make my ass look great! Iron Man 3 makes Tony Stark’s ass look great.Continue reading “Tony Stark finds new ways to surprise on his third time out”

Pain & Gain is so Michael Bay it hurts

Pain_&_Gain_Teaser_PosterIf you think you know Michael Bay, let me tell you, you don’t know Michael Bay until you’ve seen Pain & Gain. You haven’t even begun to tap into the Michael Bayness of the world until you’ve stewed in two hours-plus of pure, unadulterated Michael Bay.

Pain & Gain sucks. It takes sucking to new, previously unexplored heights. It sucks so hard that the only logical explanation for its unmitigated suckitude is that Michael Bay must, in fact, be the son of Mega-Maid. Because he only has two settings: Suck and blow. And once Pain & Gain has sucked so much that its eyeballs implode from the internal pressure, it switches gears and blows. It blows hard, and long, and with the unrelenting precision of projectile vomit.Continue reading “Pain & Gain is so Michael Bay it hurts”

iSteve: The uninformed biopic experiment

iSteve posterIf someone walked up to me today and said, “Make a biopic of Mother Theresa but don’t do any research and you only have ten thousand bucks and two months to make it,” the result would look something like iSteve, the first feature film—though at a lean 78 minutes we’re pushing that line—produced by internet comedy site Funny or Die. I know Mother Theresa was a nun, and she helped poor people, but that’s all I’ve got. If I had to flesh out a three-act story with no research, there would be a lot of made up shit and an over reliance on the tropes of bildungsroman. Which is how iSteve played out. Written and directed by FoD regular contributor Ryan Perez and starring Justin Long as Steve Jobs, iSteve is a multi-part experiment that works, for the most part, and even hits on a few truly inspired comedic moments.Continue reading “iSteve: The uninformed biopic experiment”

Straight to Video Steve presents: Evil Dead

Our resident horror expert, my big brother Steve, is back with a review of the new remake of the 1980’s horror classic Evil Dead. This movie has been pretty divisive with fans and critics, but Steve, a seasoned viewer of horror cinema, loved it. He even went so far as to demand it be seen in theaters, saying it creates the kind of fear-frenzy that makes watching horror movies so fun.

evil_dead_2013Being somewhat of a horror nerd (Sarah: Read—he’s a huge horror nerd), I’ve watched numerous documentaries on the genre where guys like Tom Savini, Wes Craven, and John Carpenter describe the atmosphere at the original screenings of their movies.  The mood is electric.  Nervous tension runs rampant.  Screams and flying popcorn litter the air…the audience is genuinely scared.  This is the experience I want to have when going to a horror flick and Fede Alvarez’s version of the Sam Raimi classic, Evil Dead, delivers just that.Continue reading “Straight to Video Steve presents: Evil Dead”

Stoker. Is. BANANAS.

stoker posterPark Chan-Wook’s Stoker was on my “most anticipated” list for 2013 because I was curious to see how the South Korean director, best known for his action/revenge “Vengeance” trilogy, would translate not only in English but also when working in the slower, subtler medium of the Southern Gothic family drama. I thought if nothing else Stoker would be lovely to look at because Park is a composition man, capable of framing beautiful shots. Well Stoker is certainly a beautiful looking film. It also happens to be COMPLETELY AMAZING IN EVERY RESPECT.

Continue reading “Stoker. Is. BANANAS.”