Cinesnark

Best of the Summer 2014: Snowpiercer

It’s not like this is a hard call. Summer 2014 is some weak-ass shit, as far as movies are concerned. The best movie up till now was X-Men: Days of Future Past, a well-made and very fun movie that made no fucking sense. But now it is now, not then, and now we have the first—only—truly great summer movie of 2014: Bong Joon-ho’s long awaited Snowpiercer. And boy oh boy, it’s a DOOZY.

The rest of the world got Snowpiercer last year, but thanks to Harvey Weinstein and his Scissors of Doom, most English-speaking territories had to wait for it, left to wonder if what we would eventually see would be Bong’s vision or Harvey Scissorhands’ trimmed down, dumbed-down edit. The good news is that Weinstein, after a protracted, played-out-in-the-press battle, gave up and agreed to release Bong’s original cut. The bad news is, he opted to give Snowpiercer a drastically reduced limited release and then proceeded to do no promotion for the movie. It would live or die by word of mouth, but this is a great movie, and word of mouth has been great, which is translating into solid box office. Justice!Continue reading “Best of the Summer 2014: Snowpiercer”

VOD Review Double Shot: They Came Together & Trust Me

I’m way behind on reviews, so I’m going to be doubling up on demand reviews for the next couple weeks. Never let it be said that there’s nothing good to watch! Good movies are everywhere, you just have to…sit at home and push a couple buttons. Seriously, it’s never been easier to access quality cinema.

They Came Together

ETA: This movie gets better on repeat viewings.

2001’s Wet Hot American Summer is, as far as I’m concerned, a comedy achievement along the lines of Spinal Tap. It’s not quite Spinal Tap (NOTHING IS SPINAL TAP), but it’s pretty close. Written by Michael Showalter and David Wain, and directed by Wain, Summer is like a time capsule, except it wasn’t memorializing the past but predicting the future. Look at the cast: Amy Poehler, Paul Rudd, Ken Marino, Joe Lo Truglio, Elizabeth Banks, Bradley Cooper, H. Jon Benjamin (the immortal voice of Sterling Archer) voicing a can of vegetables, Michael Ian Black—it’s a who’s who of today’s top comedy performers and writers. It’s also incredibly funny and actually quite touching.Continue reading “VOD Review Double Shot: They Came Together & Trust Me”

Trans4mers is a three-hour bout of audio/visual diarrhea

I don’t give up on filmmakers and I want every movie to be good, which is why I saw Transformers: Age of Extinction (aka Trans4mers). (The only other possible explanation is that I have lost my goddamned mind.) Michael Bay is, despite the overwhelming shittiness of his recent filmography, actually a talented director. He has a distinctive visual “voice”, he’s a true technician—he does his own camerawork, which few directors do anymore—and he cares about making movies that are fun. (Although there is a signature Michael Bay Up-Angle Shot that is so steep it looks like he actually laid the camera on the ground and filmed straight up his actor’s nose, a hilarious piece of camerawork.) Bay isn’t trying to be Orson Welles or make Citizen Kane, and there’s nothing wrong with that. He’s honest in his intentions, at least.Continue reading “Trans4mers is a three-hour bout of audio/visual diarrhea”

Edge of Tomorrow: Not original or smart

I am concerned about all the critics calling Tom Cruise’s new movie, Edge of Tomorrow, original. First and foremost, it’s adapted from a Japanese graphic novel, All You Need is Kill, so it’s not original. It’s an adaptation. But second, there is actually a list of cinematic influences preceding Tomorrow. The obvious one is Groundhog Day, but also Source Code and Looper, all of which actually ARE original stories. I am also concerned about critics calling Edge of Tomorrow good. Because it’s not. At best, it’s a competently made action movie that’s boring as fuck.Continue reading “Edge of Tomorrow: Not original or smart”

Wishing for a better Maleficent

The movie, that is. There was nothing wrong with Angelina Jolie’s performance as the classic Disney villainess of the same name. In turns ethereal, vengeful, spiteful, sorrowful and funny, Jolie gives one her best performances as Sleeping Beauty’s twisted fairy godmother. And the movie, written by one of The Mouse’s favorite scribes, Linda Woolverton (Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, Alice in Wonderland), is blatantly—almost aggressively—feminist, which is terrific and makes for some legit girl-power moments that had little girls cheering in their seats. It’s just…not very good. And that’s too bad because it was almost an instant classic along the lines of Frozen.Continue reading “Wishing for a better Maleficent”

Godzilla is the movie I wanted Pacific Rim to be

Last summer, Pacific Rim disappointed me. I wanted to love it, but it was so predictable I couldn’t get with it. Godzilla, on the other hand, turned out to be everything I wanted Pacific Rim to be: An awesome spectacle made up of giant monsters punching each other in the face, and a plot that holds together just well enough to not distract from all the monster face-punching. It was also fun and well-made and clever in spots and delightfully cheesy in others, and it had a STELLAR sense of pacing. By the climactic battle between Godzilla and the Mutos in San Francisco, I was literally on the edge of my seat, white-knuckling it.Continue reading “Godzilla is the movie I wanted Pacific Rim to be”

Days of Future Past is the (nonsensical) X-Men movie we’ve been waiting for

As you read this review, please keep in mind that I loved X-Men: Days of Future Past. It’s everything a summer movie should be—fun, engaging, funny, exciting, entertaining, full of likeable characters and stakes that feel like they matter. I’m about to say a lot of stuff that’s actually critical of the movie, so it’s important to remember that DOFP works in spite of itself, and it’s tremendously fun along the way. It’s just that it makes no fucking sense.Continue reading “Days of Future Past is the (nonsensical) X-Men movie we’ve been waiting for”