Category Archives: Reviews

When your eyes hate you so much they bleed

I may have finally reached my limit for “how many awful movies can I see before my eyeballs explode” on Saturday. Saturday night, after seeing both Battle: LA and Red Riding Hood a blood vessel ruptured in my eye and turned my eyeball red and disgusting. I was barely out of my seat after Red Riding Hood when the burning started and my eyeballs rebelled. The upside was it sidelined me for most of Sunday and I finally got to watch ESPN’s fantastic 30 for 30 documentary on Michigan’s Fab Five. The lesson of this review is 1) yes, your eyeballs actually can explode after viewing too many bad movies and 2) even if you don’t like basketball (I don’t), that ESPN doc about Chris Webber et al is really good. Dual review!Continue reading “When your eyes hate you so much they bleed”

The Skarsgards must be Sweden’s premier acting family

The UK has the Redgraves, the US has the Barrymores and Sweden has the Skarsgards.  I caught the newest film of twenty-year-old Bill Skarsgard—son of Stellan, younger brother of Alexander—last night at the European Union Film Festival. Called Behind Blue Skies, it details a pivotal summer in the life of Martin (Skarsgard), a high-rise dwelling student from a wealthy section of Stockholm. It’s important that you know Martin lives in a high rise so that you know he isn’t wealthy, like everyone else in his district. Martin’s best friend, Micke (Adam Palsson), is wealthy, however. Early on we meet Micke’s family as his father, Ulf (Rasmus Troedsson), brings home a new color TV. Behind Blue Skies is set in the mid-1970’s and director Hannes Holm perfectly captures the class difference between Micke and Martin in their reaction to the new TV. Micke could care less. He basically greets his dad with, “Another one?” as Martin’s eyes pop out of his head. There’s a brief struggle deciding what to do with the new TV. Ultimately, Ulf offers it to Martin. The new TV? No, an older one they’ll throw away in order to use the new one.Continue reading “The Skarsgards must be Sweden’s premier acting family”

Beastly: Someone stop me before my eyeballs rebel and explode

I have some friends. Not many, as I hate people and my aggressive brand of “don’t like to do stuff” generally means a lot of not doing stuff. Thing is, my friends know me and my “please don’t make me do stuff” policy so in order to get me to do what THEY want they usually have to bribe me with something I want. Like so, “Hey you know that movie you’re interested in? Well I can get you a screener and you can see it like pronto instead of later-o (what is the opposite of pronto?), BUT you have to do X with me right now.”Continue reading “Beastly: Someone stop me before my eyeballs rebel and explode”

I Am Number Fifty-Nine, which is how many times you’ve seen this movie before

I Am Number Four’s book origins lie in James Frey’s writing “workshop” (read: sweatshop) called Full Fathom Five, a ghost-writing arrangement set up to benefit young writers. Not a bad idea, but Frey’s working contract is so constricting that anyone who signs this is insane. The goal of Frey’s company was to produce “the next Twilight”. Well he succeeded. I Am Number Four bears a striking, overt, indisputable resemblance to Twilight. It is highly derivative. So basically, James Frey & Co. published a piece of Twilight fanfiction that got made into a movie. Continue reading “I Am Number Fifty-Nine, which is how many times you’ve seen this movie before”

Welcome to the Rileys: ABC character drama

There really is a formula for everything. Welcome to the Rileys is director Jake Scott’s (son of Ridley, nephew of Tony) second outing in features following 1999’s Plunkett & Macleane. In Rileys Scott made a very ABC 123 character-driven drama, but there is enough worthwhile effort in Rileys to make it worth a watch. Scott demonstrates a talent for letting quiet human moments unravel—an ability that seems to have completely missed his dad and uncle—and he has a feel for clean, simple compositions that don’t clutter the visual landscape when the emotional one is so loaded.Continue reading “Welcome to the Rileys: ABC character drama”