There was a point in the thriller Grand Piano that I laughed out loud. It was a climactic moment—it probably wasn’t supposed to be funny. But it was just so ludicrous that I couldn’t help it. The movie ventured firmly into unintentional comedy, but the weird thing was, it didn’t take away from the movie, or the experience of watching it, at all. It was just acknowledgment that, yes, things had gotten a wee bit silly, but that it was still entertaining and the conclusion satisfying, after all. Grand Piano is borderline stupid but it’s so STYLISH that really, nothing else matters.Continue reading “Grand Piano is ridiculous, thrilling”
Pompeii blows
Yes, I sat through Pompeii. No, I didn’t expect much. Yes, I did think “at least the volcano will be cool”. No, I’m not impressed with Kit Harington’s acting. Yes, I am impressed with Kit Harington’s abs. No, I don’t know who is still trying to make Emily Browning a thing. Yes, director Paul W.S. Anderson is pretty much a professional shit factory at this point. No, I don’t know if Keifer Sutherland is broke, but it seems likely since he’s in this movie. Yes, Jared Harris will be in any terrible movie you pay him to be in. No, I was not entertained at any point during Pompeii. Yes, the movie blew mega-chunks.Continue reading “Pompeii blows”
A fantastic waste of everything
A Fantastic Fear of Everything is, on paper, a great movie. It’s a quirky British import starring Simon Pegg, a genre-blending horror comedy with high level, Wes Anderson-ish production design. It’s perfect on-demand viewing—something a little unusual you probably wouldn’t have seen otherwise, except that it’s easily available in your living room. The reality of A Fantastic Fear of Everything, though, is that all that cool stuff is utterly wasted by an uneven script and uninspired direction.Continue reading “A fantastic waste of everything”
The LEGO Movie: Everything is awesome
It could have been a crash grab. It could have been a shameless piece of marketing designed to sell kids toys. And while The LEGO Movie is sure to drive kids to ask Mom and Dad for LEGO sets, it is not just a very expensive commercial. The LEGO Movie is, in fact, a highly entertaining, very fun and unexpectedly touching movie that kids and adults can enjoy equally. It might even skew more towards the adults, actually, as they’re better equipped to pick up on the nostalgic and pop culture references littered throughout the movie. Basically The LEGO Movie is Pixar at its best, except Pixar didn’t make it.Continue reading “The LEGO Movie: Everything is awesome”
The Top 10 Films of 2013
12 Years a Slave
Steve McQueen’s third film (following Hunger and Shame) and a bona fide masterpiece, 12 Years is an unflinching, uncompromising look at slavery in the American south. It’s painful and emotionally harrowing, and makes no attempt to make anyone feel good about not only this history but the long-reaching effects of it, which we’re still feeling today. 12 Years is not The Help, congratulating white people for ending racism in 1962. Instead it holds up a mirror to an ugly, unavoidable truth and asks only that we accept it and then figure out how to move on from there. It’s a beautiful film, almost lyrical at times, even for all the ugliness it contains. And with a central message of hope and survival in the face of soul-crushing despair, it’s one that, even though there are no easy answers, doesn’t give up on the possibility of healing. It’s not an easy watch, but it’s a necessary one.Continue reading “The Top 10 Films of 2013”
Holiday Movie Review Mash-up
Here we go with capsule reviews of a bunch of stuff coming out just in time to distract you from dealing with your families during the holidays.
American Hustle
I enjoyed American Hustle way more than I did The Fighter and Silver Linings Playbook. In some ways, it feels like those movies were just warm-ups for this one, from culling the right mix of actors to perform in his ensemble to nailing the proper tone and style to match his story. But he got the recipe right and American Hustle is hugely entertaining. It’s heavy on the Scorsese influences, definitely not a copycat or even really an homage so much as a love letter to Scorsese’s heyday of crime films, all covered over in a shiny, post-modern gloss. The 1970’s details are terrific and provide a lot of funny sight gags just because irony, but there is also some wear and tear and grime for authenticity. The story is actually pretty straight forward, about criminals who get caught and have to try to, essentially, talk their way out of trouble. It’s all greed and politics and corruption, which is really one of the oldest stories in the book. But it’s fun to watch and this group of very talented actors (Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper, Jeremy Renner, Jennifer Lawrence) are all on top of their game.Continue reading “Holiday Movie Review Mash-up”
The Hobbit Part II: Completely pointless, but hey, cool dragon, bro
This is one of those reviews where I totally know every counter-argument you will throw at me, so let me begin by laying down one, single ground rule. To wit: If your rebuttal involves the words “in the books”, don’t bother. We’re not here to talk about JRR Tolkien’s books, we’re here to talk about the movies Peter Jackson is adapting from those books. I’ve already heard a bunch of “in the books” arguments attempting to defend The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, and, as the meme says, I ain’t got time for that shit. I’m not talking about the books. I’m talking about this movie. So let’s talk about this movie and why it has one of the worst endings ever and also why I think Peter Jackson might be losing his fucking mind.Continue reading “The Hobbit Part II: Completely pointless, but hey, cool dragon, bro”
Cinesnark 