Award Shows 2010: The 82nd Annual Academy Awards

I fucking hate the Oscars.

Let’s just put that on the table first. The broadcast is too long, too smug, not entertaining, and as I stated during the Golden Globes last month, all awards shows are by their very natures intolerable circle jerks of self-congratulation. The Oscars are the worst of the lot. It’s the longest, the smuggest, the masturbatoriest awards show of them all. Guaranteed the dual hosts, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, will fall flat more often than not throughout the night. There will be weepy speeches we can’t understand. Sean Penn will be presenting Best Actress, and I promise he will say something political that he thinks sounds smart but really just makes us all hate him even more. The broadcast will run long. Winners will begin snapping at the orchestra not to cut them off. Though the nominees for Best Original Song will not be performing this year, we will be subjected to multiple song and dance numbers. (Tip to the producers: Instead of depriving actual nominees of the chance to perform in order to save time, how about you scrap the song and dance numbers?) Continue reading “Award Shows 2010: The 82nd Annual Academy Awards”