Final Oscar predictions

Here’s the last round of Oscar predictions, including the “should wins”. I don’t expect upsets in the major categories, but there could be some surprises in the art/technical categories. I’m calling a King’s Speech/Social Network split with King’s Speech taking Best Picture. I also think we’ll be seeing Banksy—or something representing Banksy—on Oscar’s stage. Without further ado, here are the predictions. Continue reading “Final Oscar predictions”

Handicapping the Oscars for real

I engaged in some tomfoolery during my fall movie preview, assigning movies asinine Oscar odds that had no real bearing on anything since the movies weren’t out yet and I hadn’t seen most of them at that point. This marks my first effort at real handicapping. I’ll revisit this after the SAGs at some point and then do a final line right before the Oscars proper. I bet on these things. These odds—they’re how I’m placing my bets. So who I think WILL win and who I think SHOULD win are two different things. That’s why, in my final odds, I always post both options. For now, though, I’m sticking to the WILL wins, listed first, with odds decreasing after that. I’m also doing this without the input of my acquaintance who is a voting member of the Academy. He just texted to tell me he was bummed for Ryan Gosling, calling Blue Valentine a “duet” and saying he thought it was unfair to nominate Michelle Williams and not her on-screen partner. Oh well. It’s the Academy. Unfairness abounds. Continue reading “Handicapping the Oscars for real”

Award Shows 2010: The 82nd Annual Academy Awards

I fucking hate the Oscars.

Let’s just put that on the table first. The broadcast is too long, too smug, not entertaining, and as I stated during the Golden Globes last month, all awards shows are by their very natures intolerable circle jerks of self-congratulation. The Oscars are the worst of the lot. It’s the longest, the smuggest, the masturbatoriest awards show of them all. Guaranteed the dual hosts, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, will fall flat more often than not throughout the night. There will be weepy speeches we can’t understand. Sean Penn will be presenting Best Actress, and I promise he will say something political that he thinks sounds smart but really just makes us all hate him even more. The broadcast will run long. Winners will begin snapping at the orchestra not to cut them off. Though the nominees for Best Original Song will not be performing this year, we will be subjected to multiple song and dance numbers. (Tip to the producers: Instead of depriving actual nominees of the chance to perform in order to save time, how about you scrap the song and dance numbers?) Continue reading “Award Shows 2010: The 82nd Annual Academy Awards”