In an attempt to understand Shia LaBeouf’s increasingly bizarre efforts to apologize for plagiarizing Daniel Clowes’ comic Justin M. Damiano for a short film he directed titled HowardCantour.com, Rich Johnston at BleedingCool reached out to LaBeouf and engaged in an email exchange in which LaBeouf made every hack’s argument for why he should be entitled to steal other people’s shit. (Basically, technology. Also, because fuck you, that’s why.) So here is my point-by-point rebuttal to LaBeouf’s anti-IP stance. Which, it should be noted, is the common defense made by every dumb fuck who steals someone else’s shit because they’re inherently incapable of coming up with anything on their own.