Spring Movie Preview: April 2017

April 7


Anne Hathaway controls a kaiju. Everyone says don’t learn anything more about this movie till you see it, so don’t learn anything more about this movie till you see it.


Chris Evans stars in a Hallmark Hall of Fame Movie of the Week about a guy raising is dead sister’s genius daughter. It’s maudlin and contrived but Evans has made WAY worse movies, so in comparison, it’s not that bad.

Full review here.

Going in Style

Zach Braff directs this remake of the 1979 film of the same name which starred George Burns, Art Carney, and Lee Strasberg. This doesn’t look especially good, but it is sort of interesting to see how Braff is reinventing himself as a commercial director, and also, hard not to like an ensemble of Morgan Freeman, Alan Arkin, and Anne-Margaret.

Smurfs: The Lost Village

I’m amazed these keep getting made.

April 14

The F8 of the Furious

Point Break With Cars returns with the movie that will be the foundation of Feud season 3: “Vin v. The Rock”. These movies are always a little too self-important to be really fun-bad cinema, but I do like that bit where The Rock punches a torpedo.

Full review here.

The Lost City of Z

James Gray’s latest is the true story of a bunch of dudes who got lost in the Amazon. James Gray never quite makes the movie you think he’s making, so it will be interesting to see what this ends up being, really.

Spark: A Space Tail

For a second I thought this was a new Fievel movie and am very disappointed that it is not.

April 21

Free Fire

Ben Wheatley offers his take on the bare bones, all-action, beat-down movie. SUPER into it.

(Red band trailer, NSFW)

The Promise

What is sure to be a super depressing doomed romance set during the Armenian Genocide. I think they were aiming for English Patient vibes, but reviews out of TIFF last year weren’t great.


Don’t know, don’t care.


This looks TERRIBLE and AMAZING at the same time.

April 28

The Circle

Sometimes people make really obvious points about the Dangers Of Technology and then expect to be applauded as geniuses for pointing out something we’re already aware and wary of, and this is one of those times.


Chronicle, but for magicians.


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