August 5
Nine Lives
What I want to know is what bet did Kevin Spacey lose, and to whom?
Suicide Squad
Don’t let the catchy trailers fool you—it’s a mess. Full review here.
August 12
Florence Foster Jenkins
Meryl Streep Oscar Vehicle #917. No, seriously, this looks pretty charming. Who’s going to be able to resist Meryl Streep AND Hugh Grant? This is like the movie equivalent of a glitter bomb. You can try to avoid it, but it will get some of its cute on you, regardless.
Hell or High Water
They’re kind of selling this like a typical heist movie, but I bet this is secretly really depressing.
Pete’s Dragon
In a year already crowded with blockbuster children’s entertainment, will this really stick out that much? Even with a dragon it seems pretty bland.
Sausage Party
The trailer alone is convincing, but this also blew people away at a screening at Comic Con. Really looking forward to this, especially after Suicide Squad was so disappointing.
August 19
Ben-Hur
This is going to bomb SO HARD.
Kubo and the Two Strings
The latest from LAIKA looks pleasantly weird, but again, when we’ve already had so many huge kids’ movies this year, do we really have any more left in the tank for another one?
Lo and Behold: Reveries of the Connected World
VOD
Werner Herzog made a documentary about the internet. That’s all anyone needs to know, but here’s a trailer just in case “Werner Herzog made” isn’t enough to convince you.
Morris From America
Limited/VOD
A coming of age story about an African-American kid in Germany. Looks totally charming.
War Dogs
AKA The Hangover: Baghdad.
August 26
Blood Father
VOD
I’d be more into this if I didn’t have to look at ole sugar tits over there.
Don’t Breathe
I mean, Lights Out turned out pretty good, so this could always turn out pretty good, but it doesn’t look pretty good.
Hands of Stone
It’s a boxing movie, but this time, Robert DeNiro plays the trainer. Bonus points for Edgar Ramirez.
Mechanic: Resurrection
On a scale of one to ten Jason Stathams, this movie looks like 6.5 Jason Stathams, or roughly the equivalent of Revolver. (Crank 2 scores a perfect 10 of 10 Jason Stathams.)
Sea of Trees
Limited/VOD
The McConaissance is officially over.
Southside With You
A fictionalization of Barack and Michelle Obama’s first date looks like the best rom-com in years.
I’m sorry to say that what I take away from this is that I need to see Crank 2.
This is what you’re supposed to take away. Crank 2 is a goddamn masterpiece.
Yesterday I was forced to go see bad moms (bff’s choice), so the next movie I see needs to be something that isn’t total garbage, so hopefully I’ll be able to see Morris From America on vod. But seriously, Sarah, you needed to review Bad Moms, it was wretched. I never thought Mila Kunis was a bad actress, but she was horrible in this movie, like I’ll never be able to look at her the same way again for agreeing to be in this movie.
I just can’t bring myself to sit through that movie. Besides, I have to review Nine Lives. If I saw both, I might actually die.