Summer Movie Preview: June 2016

June 3

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

The Lonely Island has done the thing we thought would never be done—made a satirical mockumentary as funny as This Is Spinal Tap.

Me Before You

This looks like English Nicholas Sparks. At least one of these people is dying by the end.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

More like “out of your nightmares”. The turtles continue to look like garbage hellbeasts.

The Witness

In 1964 Kitty Genovese was murdered outside her apartment in Queens, New York. The New York Times alleged that 38 witnesses failed to intervene, but it has since come out that that was an exaggeration, at best. This documentary, featuring Kitty’s brother, reexamines the case that became the prime example of the “bystander effect”. True crime fans will probably get more out of this than anyone.

New York/LA

June 10

The Conjuring 2

Which part of this is the true part? Is it the demons?



A biopic about editor Max Perkins, who worked with the likes of Thomas Wolfe, Ernest Hemingway, and F. Scott Fitzgerald. Standard period fare.

Now You See Me 2

I can’t believe this is a real movie.


I really like Duncan Jones, and I hope for his sake Warcraft is good and does well, but man…this looks rough.

June 17

Central Intelligence

As stupid as this looks, the trailer makes me laugh every time. I feel like it’s asking too much for this AND Popstar to be great comedies in the same month, though.

Finding Dory

I feel like such a curmudgeon for saying it but I’m not feeling Finding Dory at all.

Swiss Army Man


You had me at “Dan Radcliffe’s farting corpse”.

June 24

Free State of Jones

The Civil War gets the Michael Bay treatment.

Independence Day: Resurgence


The Neon Demon


Nicholas Winding Refn returns with a giallo-inspired film about a murderous model. I’m into it on paper, but Only God Forgives was so unwatchable I’m now scared of Refn films.

June 29

The Shallows

You had me at “Blake Lively gets eaten by a shark”.

4 thoughts on “Summer Movie Preview: June 2016

  1. Julia

    You can’t be treating captain america like it’s high art and sigh at ID2.

    Leave the snarky goth act in high school, you sound like everyone else with a blog

  2. Julia

    You can’t be writing think pieces about Captain American 16: Everything will go back normal at end;roll your eyes at NYSM 2 and ID2.

    They’re all light shallow blockbusters marvel isn’t art.

  3. Felicity

    I really appreciate your monthly preview posts– they’re actually really helpful in figuring out what’s being released (even though the most interesting ones nearly never open where I live) and your commentary makes me laugh.

  4. That Lonely Island movie looks like it’s going to try way too hard to be funny. I’ll catch in a year’s time when I can pause and mentally prepare myself for the rest or abandon ship 😛

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