Spring Movie Preview: April 2016

April 1

Born to be Blue

Limited

Ethan Hawke stars in a reimagining of jazz trumpeter Chet Baker’s life. On paper, this looks like the white guy version of Miles Ahead, a reimagining of jazz trumpeter Miles Davis’s life.

Everybody Wants Some!!

Limited

Richard Linklater returns to the nostalgia well with the “spiritual sequel” to Dazed and Confused. This time it’s a movie about a bunch of college baseball players in Texas loafing around, instead of high school football players in Texas loafing around.

Miles Ahead

Limited

Don Cheadle’s long-gestating passion project has finally arrived. For his biopic of Miles Davis, he appears to have made a bunch of shit of up.

April 8

The Boss

Post­-Bridesmaids, Melissa McCarthy’s movies have fallen into two camps:

1) Good movies starring Melissa McCarthy made by other people

2) Terrible movies starring Melissa McCarthy, made by her and her husband, Ben Falcone

The Boss is made by McCarthy and Falcone. Do the math.

Demolition

Jake G’s movie about grief features another weirdo performance. Demolition is a little messy, but if you roll with it, it works. Full review here.

Hardcore Henry

I LOVE Sharlto Copley, but just the trailer for this movie—looks a little Robocop-ish—makes me a bit motion sick.

Louder Than Bombs

Limited

Jesse Eisenberg, Gabriel Byrne, and Amy Ryan star in this movie about a family coming to terms with the legacy of their wife and mother, a famous war photographer, after she dies. This is the kind of depressing, neurotic drama at which Eisenberg excels.

Mr. Right

Limited/VOD

SAM ROCKWELL + ANNA KENDRICK = IF THIS SUCKS I WILL CRY

April 15

Barbershop: The Next Cut

Ice Cube brings back the Barbershop franchise.

Colonia

Limited/VOD

One of the worst movies I’ve seen in recent memory. Full review here.

Criminal

Didn’t Ryan Reynolds already make this movie, except with Ben Kingsley?

The First Monday in May

A documentary about the “insufferable annual ball at the Met” in New York, hosted by Anna Wintour.

Green Room

Limited

Writer/director Jeremy Saulnier follows up the stellar Blue Ruin with Green Room, in which Patrick Stewart plays a Neo Nazi. I love Blue Ruin, and Green Room looks to be even better. It’s been well received at festivals since last year.

The Jungle Book

Jon Favreau’s update of the Disney classic is done with photo-real animation. The only real thing in the movie is Neel Sethi as Mowgli. Everything else is animation. Chew on that.

Sing Street

Limited

A boy no one will fuck starts a band in 1980s London so that someone will fuck him.

April 22

A Hologram for the King

A Tom Hanks movie that feels like it’s flying completely under the radar. Adapted by Tom Tykwer (Cloud Atlas) from Dave Eggers’s novel, Hanks stars as a salesman hawking his wares to a monarch in Saudi Arabia. I’m sure no one will have any problems with this movie at all.

Elvis & Nixon

You had me at “Michael Shannon as Elvis Presley”.

The Huntsman: Winter’s War

For who? And WHY?

Nina

Limited/VOD

Zoe Saldana’s Bad Decision, coming soon to a theater near you.

April 29

High Rise

VOD

Ben Wheatley’s latest film, adapted from J.G. Ballard’s novel and starring Tom Hiddleston. I expect this to be weird as fuck, but most people are just checking for Nearly Naked Tom Hiddleston.

Keanu

The reception to a working cut of Keanu at SXSW was mixed. I hope they’ve worked out the kinks because this trailer is goddamn delightful and I’m really looking forward to this movie.

Mother’s Day

Not even Timothy Olyphant can inspire me to want to watch this tripe.

Ratchet and Clank

Remember Ratchet and Clank from the PlayStation? Well now they’re a kids’ movie.

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