Welcome to the shitshow that is January movies.
The Hateful Eight
Quentin Tarantino’s latest isn’t performing well as his other historical-revisionist movies, which is too bad, because it’s the best of the lot.
One of the best films of 2015. It’s kind of weird and surreal, but it’s also intensely human, and swings between morose and funny and sad and romantic and painful and hopeful—basically the whole of the human experience is in this one movie. Not enough attention is being paid to this legit masterful film—seek it out. See it. It’s everything vital and necessary and exciting about cinema.
AKA, The Struggle Is Real: The Movie.
13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi
Yes, I’m sure that Michael Bay is exactly the nuanced, apolitical filmmaker to tell us this story.
Norm of the North
One polar bear’s adventure in the big city. It actually doesn’t look that bad.
Ride Along 2
This looks dumb as hell, but…Kevin Hart and Ice Cube are SUCH a good odd couple.
A heartbreaking film, but one that features two stellar performances (Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtenay). This is another one that is well worth seeking out.
I keep getting this confused with the movie about the budding serial killer.
The Fifth Wave
It’s like Twilight, but with aliens and worldwide apocalyptic destruction.
I kind of admire that Zac Efron just keeps trying to make a grown-up adult acting career happen, but when you’re starring in one of Robert DeNiro’s “I clearly don’t give a shit anymore” movies, I don’t think it’s going that well.
I’m surprised A24, the distributor, isn’t doing more with this film to capitalize on Oscar Isaac’s burgeoning Star Wars popularity. Also, his hair is magnificent.
The Finest Hours
We gawtta go back, Chowdah, there’s a huge stahrm comin’ ah way!
Jane Got a Gun
Whatever, dude actors put on a director’s cap and make shitty movies all the time.
Kung Fu Panda 3
Kids like these, I suppose.