Better late than never?
Magic Mike XXL
No seriously, it’s great! Full review here.
No one cares about this movie.
Documentarian Asif Kapadia (Senna) tells the story of Amy Winehouse’s rise and tragically early death. Senna was excellent, and reviews for Amy have been very good, so it might be worth checking out if you’re in a documentary kind of mood this summer.
A horror movie about a doomed high school play is like something stoned theater nerds cooked up after rehearsal.
The little yellow nonsense blobs from Despicable Me have their own movie because someone decided that a visual gag ought to be a feature length film.
How is this not Face/Off? HOW?
Marvel’s latest starring a winsome Paul Rudd and a scene-stealing, super charming Michael Pena. It won’t win new fans to the franchise, but the Marvel faithful ought to be pleased, plus it’s an action movie that actually plays really well to families.
Woody Allen’s latest older man/younger woman “romantic” fable.
Ian McKellen stars as a ninety-year-old Sherlock Holmes solving one last mystery.
The Stanford Prison Experiment
Based on the infamous psychological study in which students at Stanford divided into “guards” and “prisoners” and then took all of like three seconds before descending into madness and proving that humanity is a dark and terrible thing.
Amy Schumer’s anticipated comedy which is kind of a reverse rom-com in which the woman is the sexually liberated partner uninterested in relationships and the man has to earn her monogamy. Also apparently LeBron James is really funny as the sidekick.
Cara Delevingne and Nat Wolff star in the latest story from John Green, the YA Nicholas Sparks, which seems to be a YA version of Gone Girl, but probably with more cancer.
Adam Sandler and Kevin James are back, and they’re dragging Michelle Monaghan and Peter Dinklage down with them. I think this wants to be a family-friendly action/adventure, but that movie is already out by this point and it’s called Ant-Man.
Jake Gyllenhaal wants an Oscar dammit!
Cobie Smulders stars in this Sundance stand-out about a high school teacher who is pregnant at the same time as one of her students.
The Vatican Tapes
Another found footage exorcism movie shat into existence, unfortunately dragging Michael Pena down with it.
Ed Helms and Christina Applegate front this sequel that no one asked for to the popular Chevy Chase Vacation movies. Soon to be remembered solely for The Greater Hemsworth’s abs.
The End of the Tour
Jason Segel stars as David Foster Wallace and Jesse Eisenberg as a reporter interviewing him over five days as he wraps up the tour for Infinite Jest.
Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation
Tom Cruise returns as Ethan Hunt, a secret agent who drags his broken, aged body around the globe trying to stop an international terrorist threat before his scheduled hip replacement.
Seriously, at some point we need to acknowledge that men age out of these roles the same way women do romantic comedies.