The Golden Globes came and went, and while co-hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were really, really good (borderline terrific, even), they didn’t get nearly enough screen time. Everyone wanted them to come out more and tell great jokes about how being married to James Cameron is torture, or to warn Taylor Swift away from the under-age boys in the audience. However, the show did run a precise three hours. So maybe less interstitial bits from the hosts isn’t a bad thing, in general, it just speaks to how good Fey and Poehler were that we wanted so much more of them. The 2013 Golden Globes will also go down as the night Jodie Foster finally came out, even though her lifetime achievement award speech was so confusing everyone thought she retired by the end of it (no, she confirmed later, she did not). But what we’re really here for is to judge people because of their clothes, so let’s get to it—the best and worst of the Golden Globes fashion.
Amy Poehler in a Stella McCartney tuxedo had her best-ever red carpet appearance, though she walked the red carpet so early I think a lot of people missed her look. I love menswear on women—a look Marlene Dietrich made famous in the 1920’s—so I was super into this plunging jacket and cropped pants on Poehler. The styling was spot-on, too, especially the loose side chignon. She looked sexy and chic and fashion-forward in a way I don’t usually expect from Amy Poehler. And it’s a Stella McCartney ensemble that I don’t actively loathe, so there’s that.
And then there’s Lucy Liu in Carolina Herrera, who bucked the red/black/nude trends in favor for a powder blue ball gown with a floral print. Liu looked like she was born in this dress, it fit so well. I’ve really been into Herrera’s use of florals the last few seasons—it’s an unusual but effective way of creating drama—and I love the architectural shape of the skirt and how this dress drapes without seeming heavy. We might fight about Liu’s styling, though. I liked the braid—it complemented the summery air of the gown. Still, for drama and sheer differentness, Lucy Liu wins hands down.
Jennifer Garner’s Vivienne Westwood made me straight up angry. It looked bad on the red carpet—where it was the exact same shade as the carpet—but it looked even worse inside, where the stage lights made the sequined material look cheap. And it was badly fit! Usually I associate Westwood with flattering shapes, but this dress fit Garner so poorly she looked lumpy, especially around the bust and under her arms. But mostly this dress looked incredibly cheap, and like Garner knows that we call her “taupe” and wants to change that, but isn’t interested in getting a dress that is actually interesting. Bright colors =/= interesting.
This physically pains me, but I hated Rachel Weisz’s Louis Vuitton dress. I am totally over the sheer skirt trend, and with the cutesy bow and polka dots on the netting, it looks like something Zooey Deschanel would wear. I actually recoiled when I saw it, I hated it so much. Weisz isn’t someone I particularly associate with high fashion moments, but she has done better than this in the past. There’s something kind of lazy about this look, like she was willing to wear something “edgy”, but then the dress isn’t actually all that edgy. I will say this—from the neck up, Weisz looked beautiful.
Almost but Not Quite
I debated this Jessica Chastain in Calvin Klein look, but ultimately put it on the “almost” list instead of the “worst” because I think Chastain, or rather her stylist, is finally locking into what her look should be. The color, which was stated as sea foam but read as sky blue, popped on the red carpet—like Lucy Liu, Chastain provided much needed relief from the parade of red. And from the back, the dress looked great, flattering Chastain’s body and showing off her AMAZING skin. But the halter top was incredibly unflattering, making her boobs look like they sag to her waist. The styling of her hair didn’t help the look, either, but I am awarding points for the color and for the relative simplicity of the silhouette. Chastain is not a fashion girl—simple, clean silhouettes and dresses in flattering colors will suit her best. This is a step in that direction.
Sienna Miller in Erdem separates was close to being a stellar look, but as with most Erdem designs, the idea is solid but the execution leaves something wanting. And Miller, while looking incredibly fresh-faced and beautiful, is in her thirties now. This dress seems a bit young—it looks like the outfit Elle Fanning has been trying to wear for the last year—and I would have liked to see Miller, who can really bring it sartorially, try something bolder. Also, the skirt is wrinkly and in need of a steaming. Details, details.
Trend of the Night: Red
I used to like red dresses on the red carpet, but then it became overplayed, and last night killed the trend entirely. There was way too much red going on, and while Jennifer Garner’s dress was the worst of the lot, 99% of the red trend was bad. The one good use of red was Naomi Watts’ Zac Posen gown, which was a great color—dark cranberry—and was both dramatic and beautifully styled. Watts was one of my favorite looks of the entire night. One of my least favorite looks, though, was Jennifer Lawrence in Dior. She’s a newly-minted face for the brand, so it was expected she would wear Dior, but the first pairing of actress and brand was not good. The dress was way too much for Lawrence who, like Jessica Chastain, does better with simpler styling. But where this really goes wrong is just how unflattering it was. Jennifer Lawrence has an amazing body, and this dress managed to make it look awful. The conical bust made her look saggy and awkward, and I’m not sure if it’s just the dress or the dress and the belt combined, but her hips looked way wider than they actually are. It was a disappointing outing for both Lawrence and Dior.
Also disappointing was Marion Cotillard in Dior. It was almost the same color as Lawrence’s gown and it looked like Cotillard was wearing the same belt. I cannot believe that a major fashion house like Dior would send two prominent actresses—both faces of the brand—down the same red carpet looking so similar. Like Rachel Weisz, there’s a laziness to this look, and Cotillard didn’t seem enthused to be there, so she wasn’t doing much to sell it to me. And though I loved Cotillard’s virtually nonexistent makeup, I did not like the severe hairstyle which didn’t flatter her at all.
Child, This is How it’s DONE
Nicole Kidman in Alexander McQueen took Anne Hathaway’s Chanel-clad ass to school last night. The Golden Globes aren’t quite as big as the Oscars but it’s still a big night and you want to bring out one of your top-tier looks, which Kidman did in that amazing McQueen cut-out gown. But Hathaway totally failed to deliver, showing up in a boring white gown with a bullshit peplum—another fad I’m completely done with—and going in for lazy styling to boot. And don’t tell me Hathaway’s short hair is the problem—she’s styled it well before, she just didn’t last night. She was probably thinking not to waste her best look at the Globes, but Kidman reminded her that it’s a good time to bring the haute, too.
The Helen Mirren Award for Being Helen Mirren
And the award goes to…Helen Mirren in Badgley Mischka.
Jeremy Renner did not wear a shiny suit. Not once, but twice—first at an event for the Independent Spirit Awards, then at the Golden Globes. Twice in one day, Renner proved capable of wearing non-shiny materials cut into properly fitted suits, and he LOOKED LIKE A GODDAMN BOSS. See Renner? See how much better this is? Please, don’t do this anymore. Please always do this.
Rachel Weisz brought an exceptionally fine example of a Daniel Craig. So many people misuse Daniel Craig—Jon Favreau struggled with his Daniel Craig, famously showing up with a constantly-wrinkled Craig—but Weisz proved that by sitting a Daniel Craig next to Rachel Weisz, you can really show off your Daniel Craig to its best advantage.
The Lea Michele Hard Posing Award
Debra Messing (in Donna Karan) wins this year’s hard posing award, for maintaining this hard pose not only all the way down the red carpet but also inside, through the ball room, and onto the stage, where she proceeded to hard-pose throughout her presentation. It’s nearly impossible, but Messing managed to win the Lea Michele Hard Posing Award on a night when Lea Michele was in attendance.