Award shows 2010: Golden Globes

I do not like award shows. I have a hard time sitting through them. Let’s face it, unless you’re nominated to win something, or have money riding on it, an award show means nothing. They’re the single most masturbatory act in our culture. Let’s fill a room full of people who make more money than any of us will ever see doing something fairly ridiculous, and watch them hand each other awards and applaud one another on television. For FIVE HOURS.

No thanks.

Which is not to say that award shows aren’t entertaining. Usually each show is good for one genuinely entertaining moment every year. The Golden Globes, handed out by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, are often quite enjoyable, as they serve alcohol and the HFPA is capable of combining sincerity and sly self-awareness (see this year’s list of nominees). The Oscars are terminally boring because they’re stuffy. The Academy is incapable of taking a joke, especially a self-reflexive one (look at how many comics bomb as hosts for poking fun at the Academy), and they take their “job” way too seriously. They take it so seriously I imagine the Academy going around in tweed jackets with elbow pads. I will also admit to watching pre-show red carpets, as I do really love to see what people show up wearing and gleefully pass judgment on their lives based on the cut of a suit or color of a dress. But when it comes to the actual broadcast, I set my TiVo and watch the highlights the next day. The montages, song-and-dance numbers, tearful acceptance speeches—I can live without it. I want to see funny opening monologues, which actress tripped over her train, who forgot to thank their spouse with said spouse looking on—award shows are all about schadenfreude for the general public.

And money. If you’re like me, you’re participating in a pool, picking winners and putting some money down on your favorite movie of the year. So here are my picks for the Golden Globes this Sunday—who will win, who should win, and in some cases, who was snubbed.

Film

Best Picture – Drama

Who will win: Up in the Air

Who should win: Up in the Air

The nominees are solid, excepting Avatar, which I hated (I know, I know—I’m the only one). Really, throw a dart and any of the other three (Inglorious Basterds, Precious, The Hurt Locker) would make equally well-deserved wins. I give Up in the Air the win for being not only an excellent film with a message that’s both timely and timeless, but also an entertaining movie. I could see myself watching Up in the Air again and enjoying it very much, whereas I will never ever willingly sit through Precious or The Hurt Locker ever again.

Best Picture – Musical or Comedy

Who will win: Nine

Who should win: (500) Days of Summer

Don’t get me wrong, I loved The Hangover. I almost suffocated because I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. I just don’t think it was best-crafted comedy of the year (confession: I am still bitter that the trailer revealed the Tyson cameo and yes, I am punishing the movie for it here). This is a weak pool of contenders. Julie & Julia, really? And Nine? Despite all the hype, critics and audiences alike have not warmed to it. Massive bomb on all fronts. Yet it will win Best Picture.

Best Director

Who will win: James Cameron

Who should win: Kathryn Bigelow

Battle of the exes! Award Shows 2010 will be smut-filled gossip buffets thanks to ex-spouses James Cameron and Kathryn Bigelow going head-to-head for Best Director. Their bitter divorce and its nuclear fallout are on a red-carpet tour this year. Please please please let Bigelow win over Cameron at least once so we can see his sourface. I do think Bigelow deserves the award more. The Hurt Locker was a hell of an achievement, while Avatar was a pile of space crap starring blue cat people.Yes, Cameron’s technical mastery is unparalleled, but it was not an all-around win like The Hurt Locker. Or even Up in the Air. Jason Reitman, by the way, would also be an acceptable winner, but he’s pretty young and I think still has places left to go. The Hurt Locker is Bigelow’s masterpiece. I believe that Reitman can, and will, top Up in the Air.

 

Best Actor – Drama

Who will win: George Clooney – Up in the Air

Who should win: I’m good with Clooney

Who was snubbed: Jeremy Renner – The Hurt Locker

This is another category where you could throw a dart and hit a deserving winner. Clooney and Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart) both give their best performances in years, Colin Firth (A Single Man) reminds that he’s more than Mr. Darcy, and Tobey Maguire (Brothers) is criminally underappreciated by his peers. Morgan Freeman is a great actor, there’s no denying, but I don’t think his performance in Invictus tops his watermark role of Red in Shawshank Redemption. These other four men reset their watermarks with their performances this year.

Best Actor – Musical or Comedy

Who will win: Daniel Day-Lewis – Nine

Who should win: Robert Downey, Jr. – Sherlock Holmes

Why? Because no one thought he could do it. When RDJ was cast as Sherlock everyone thought Guy Ritchie was nuts. As good an actor as RDJ is, and no one thought he could play Sherlock Holmes. Well RDJ owned that shit. Don’t get me wrong—Day-Lewis is the best part of Nine, but it turns out Day-Lewis can’t sing, which is a problem when he’s the lead in a musical.

Best Actress – Drama

Who will win: Carey Mulligan – An Education

Who should win: Emily Blunt – The Young Victoria

Really, either of them would do, but as good as Mulligan was—and she was very, very good—Blunt impressed me just that much [] more. Mulligan’s performance was, “I am here now!” Blunt’s was, “I will always be here.” Gabourey Sidibe of Precious also made the “I am here now!” statement, but I don’t think it was a revelatory as Mulligan’s. Still, for me Blunt’s was the dramatic performance of the year.

Best Actress – Musical or Comedy

Who will win: Meryl Streep – Julie & Julia

Who should win: Oh come on, it’s MERYL STREEP

Who was snubbed: Kristen Stewart – Adventureland

Kind of a weak group here, too. This is just proof that Hollywood is, in fact, light on good roles for funny women. As for Streep, I hate that they nominated her for It’s Complicated, too. It’s basically the HFPA saying, “We couldn’t think of four funny women this year.”

Best Supporting Actor

Who will win: Christoph Waltz – Inglorious Basterds

Who should win: Woody Harrelson – The Messenger

Who was snubbed: Zach Galifianakis – The Hangover

Poor Woody. He’s a consistent, good actor who delivers solid performances in a range of roles and he never gets any credit. Does anyone even remember how great he was in No Country for Old Men? This year is no different.

Best Supporting Actress

Who will win: Anna Kendrick – Up in the Air

Who should win – Anna Kendrick – Up in the Air

Mo’Nique was not only fantastic as the mother from hell in Precious, but she’s popular with the critics. However, her behavior on the award-season campaign trail has been piss-poor, at one point demanding to be paid to go on talk shows to promote the movie for which she would be nominated. Mo’Nique is a talk show host who is now being nominated for serious hardware. Grow up and handle your duties accordingly. I am banking on the HFPA being turned off by her attitude and Kendrick—seriously, did you see her in Up in the Air?!—taking the win.

Best Screenplay

Who will win: Quentin Tarantino – Inglorious Basterds

Who should win: Mark Boal – The Hurt Locker

Who was snubbed: Jon Lucas & Scott Moore – The Hangover

Inglorious Basterds is full of the sort of verbose, quick-delivery soliloquies that made Tarantino famous, and since he won’t win Best Director, this will be his consolation prize.

Best Foreign Language Film

Who will win: A Prophet (France)

Who should win: I guess A Prophet

I haven’t seen any of the nominated films. So this category means nothing to me.

Best Animated Feature Film

Who will win: Up

Who should win: Up

At least Pixar has some real competition this year from Coraline and The Fantastic Mr. Fox. Who’s the real winner this year? Stop-motion animation.

Best Original Score

Who will win: James Horner – Avatar

Who should win: Carter Burwell & Karen Orzolek – Where the Wild Things Are

Who was snubbed: Elliot Goldenthal – Public Enemies

James Horner is nominated, James Horner will win. Burwell/Orzolek did a better score for a better movie. But that’s not really what these things are about.

Best Original Song

Who will win: “I Want to Come Home” – Everybody’s Fine

Who should win: “The Weary Kind” – Crazy Heart

Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett wrote “The Weary Kind” for Crazy Heart, the story of a faded country star. They will go down as this year’s Bruce Springsteen/The Wrestler (I do remember that Springsteen won the Golden Globe, but he was famously snubbed for the Oscar).

Television

Best Series – Drama

Who will win: Mad Men (AMC)

Who should win: Mad Men (AMC)

Mad Men is the best show on television that isn’t Glee. End of story.

Best Series – Musical or Comedy

Who will win: 30 Rock (NBC)

Who should win: Glee (Fox)

Glee is the best show on television. Don’t argue—embrace. And stop nominating Entourage, it’s annoying.

Best Actor – Drama

Who will win: John Hamm – Mad Men

Who should win: John Hamm – Mad Men

If someone from Glee can’t win, someone from Mad Men should.

Best Actress – Drama

Who will win: January Jones – Mad Men

Who should win: Glenn Close – Damages

Have you seen Damages? Close is insane in it. I think it’s her best work. Ever.

Best Actor – Musical or Comedy

Who will win: Alec Baldwin – 30 Rock

Who should win: Matthew Morrison – Glee

Did you SEE the scene where (SPOILER) Mr. Schue discovered Terrible Terri was faking the pregnancy?

Best Actress – Musical or Comedy

Who will win: Tina Fey – 30 Rock

Who should win: Lea Michele – Glee

Don’t get me wrong, I love 30 Rock, but Glee is the best show on television.

Best Miniseries or Movie

Who will win: Grey Gardens (HBO)

Who should win: Grey Gardens (HBO)

Of the nominees, I only saw Grey Gardens and Georgia O’Keefe. I liked Grey Gardens better.

Best Actor – Miniseries or Movie

Who will win: Brendan Gleeson – Into the Storm

Who should win: Chiwetel Ejiofor – Endgame

I just want to see someone try to pronounce “Chiwetel Ejiofor”. Confession: I can’t do it, either.

Best Actress – Miniseries or Movie

Who will win: Jessica Lange – Grey Gardens

Who should win: Drew Barrymore – Grey Gardens

I can’t believe HBO submitted both Lange and Barrymore for this award, instead of putting Barrymore in the “supporting” category. One of these women will win, and here’s hoping the other one throws her drink at the winner when she loses.

Best Supporting Actor

Who will win: Neil Patrick Harris – How I Met Your Mother

Who should win: Neil Patrick Harris – How I Met Your Mother

Let’s face it: no one would watch that show except for NPH as Barney. Let’s suit up!

Best Supporting Actress

Who will win: Jane Lynch – Glee

Who should win: Jane Lynch – Glee

Like you’d vote against Sue Sylvester. Have you seen her twitter? Sue Sylvester tweets.

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2 thoughts on “Award shows 2010: Golden Globes

  1. Pingback: Crazy Heart: Anatomy of an Oscar-winning performance « CineSnark

  2. Pingback: Golden Globes 2010: The Best, the Worst, and the Lame « CineSnark

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