It’s getting to be that time of year. We’re two months out from the first of the summer movie releases, and the fall/winter award bait is starting to surface, so trailers are coming hot and heavy. It feels like a nice time to take a look at what’s garnering buzz recently in the ole trailer park. Here are a few new trailers that have everyone talking.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
You have to give Fox a lot of credit for setting up Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter with a big, gutsy marketing campaign. This is probably the riskiest of the major releases in summer 2012, and Fox is acting like they have a sure-fire hit on their hands. The book is a best seller, which doesn’t hurt, but the overall concept is quite esoteric and sometimes what works in a book doesn’t work on film. However, judging solely from the trailer, it looks like director Timur Bekmambetov (Wanted) has nailed the tone of the book and turned it into something dark and cool. This is a summer that looks ripe for an upset at the box office (I mean, not against The Dark Knight Rises, nothing and no one is taking that down as #1), and I kind of think Abraham Lincoln might be a surprise blockbuster.
Battleship
This looks so dumb, right? Like, so, soooooo dumb. But yet…it also looks fun. Fun in the way that only super dumb summer movies can be. The new Battleship trailer took me by surprise because it actually made me want to see this silly movie. Based on the shockingly warm reception to the new trailer, Universal has raised their projections and it looks like they might really have a Transformers-level hit on their hands. Of course, I’m notoriously awful at box office predictions, so maybe I should apologize to Universal right now for tanking their chances.
I think the most important question I have after seeing this trailer is whether or not Taylor Kitsch takes his shirt off.
Dark Shadows
I understand that many of you (most of you?) are sick to death of Johnny Depp and his weird characters with all the makeup and the costumes and why can’t he just be normal, for once? Ditto for Tim Burton and his eccentric, creepy films. I get that, but here’s my question to you: When has Johnny Depp ever been the normal guy? When has Tim Burton ever made a straightforward film? The closest Burton got to the mainstream was Big Fish, and even that relied heavily on magical realism. As for Depp, it would be, what, Chocolat? I’m just saying these are two guys who make their living on weird and obscure. I understand if you’re just tired of it, in general, but let’s not act like they were ever normal.
This movie might be a huge mess. The tone of the trailer is inconsistent. Between the title and the plot—Depp plays a cursed vampire trying to reclaim his home and restore his lost love—I think people were expecting a rather serious, dark movie. Instead what we’ve got is something that looks quite campy and silly and retro (it’s based on a 1960’s soap opera). But through the clutter there are glimpses of something sharp and darkly comic, which is precisely the combination that defines Beetlejuice, Ed Wood and Sweeney Todd—three of Burton’s best films. Probably Dark Shadows is a disaster waiting to happen, what with the Burton/Depp fatigue and all, but when they’re given free rein to indulge the oddest of their impulses, Burton/Depp can really deliver. It’ll be interesting to see which side Dark Shadows comes down on.
On the Road
Walter Salles took his sweet time putting together this adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s classic beat novel, and from the first trailer, it definitely looks worth the wait. I’m especially into Viggo Mortensen as Old Bull Lee (the William Burroughs stand-in) and the jazzy score fragments. I’m on the record worrying about the adaptability of On the Road, but as I said originally, if anyone could make sense of a difficult, syncopated text like Kerouac’s, it would Salles. It would appear he has succeeded in at least crafting something interesting-looking with On the Road.
By virtue of being Salles’ first feature film in four years—and his first English-language film in seven—On the Road is getting a huge amount of attention. Of course it’s Kerouac, of course the cast is stocked with talent including Garrett Hedlund, Kristen Stewart, Mortensen, Amy Adams and Kirsten Dunst, but the real star in any Walter Salles film is Walter Salles. He trumps everything else. And chill before you yell at me for forsaking my girl KStew. I’m excited for her to be in this, but that’s the deal you accept when you go into a Walter Salles film. It’s like working with Terrence Malick or Christopher Nolan or Woody Allen—the actor is not the most important piece, the director and his vision are. I expect to see this on the Croisette at Cannes, and later, in serious contention for award season. Because it’s Walter Salles. And that’s all that matters.
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
Because once again, this is a super funny movie that everyone should go see.
Prometheus
I’m trying to get into this, I really am, because I like everyone involved—The Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Noomi Rapace, Guy Pearce—but I’m not that into sci-fi in general and I have no strong attachment to the original Alien, specifically. But I get that I’m in the minority in my disinterest and the way things stand now, this looks like the clearest challenger to The Dark Knight Rises’ assumed #1 position as top of the box office for the summer. I do think Prometheus will be big, I’m just not particularly interested in it myself.
Snow White and the Huntsman
Universal has had a hard run the last few years, but between Battleship and this, summer 2012 is shaping up nicely for them. The new trailer was just released (along with a five minute feature reel, which you can see here) and it looks GREAT. Commercials director Rupert Sanders is making his feature film debut and he looks like the genuine article. Even in two minute increments, the visuals look amazing. When the first trailer for the cutely nick-named SWATH debuted last fall, everyone was all, “OMG, Kristen Stewart is barely in it!” and I was like, “Chill, they’re going to release a Snow-centric trailer later.” And here it is, the Snow-centric trailer. I like how they’re setting up the idea that Snow’s power and beauty derives from her innate goodness—I prefer that to a straight up “I’m prettier than you” bitch off. I recently re-read the Grimm Snow White and it’s all about the destructive nature of vanity, so I really hope they play that angle in SWATH. So far, it looks like that’s where they’re headed. I’m into it.
Michael Sheen and Maria Bello star in one of the most depressing movies ever made. Sheen and Bello star as parents trying to pick up the pieces after their son (Kyle Gallner, A Nightmare on Elm Street) commits a mass-murder on his school campus. I love Sheen and Gallner, and Bello is always good in stuff like this, but there’s no way I’m seeing this movie.
Beginners
Ewan McGregor, Christopher Plummer, Goran Visnijc (!!!), and the fantastic French actress Melanie Laurent (Inglorious Basterds) star in this indie drama about a son who is shocked by his father’s revelations—he’s dying of cancer and has a younger male lover. I’m probably Netflixing this one. I’m not dying to see it but I like everyone involved, especially Laurent. I thought she was the unsung hero of Inglorious Basterds. And it comes from Mike Mills, who made Thumbsucker, which I really enjoyed.
Love, Wedding, Marriage
Poor Mandy Moore. She’s better than this. She’s not a terrible actress and I’d rather watch her in a rom-com than, say, Katherine Heigl. But she gets stuck in terrible trite stuff like this. Moore stars as a marriage counselor, newly married (to Twilight’s Kellan Lutz) who struggles with her parents’ divorce. This is the directorial debut of Dermot Mulroney, and I have zero interest it. There’s no way I’m seeing this movie, either, but unlike Beautiful Boy, which I won’t see because it’s too disturbing to me, I won’t see this one because I don’t care about it at all.
Submarine
British import Submarine is a dramedy starring Sally Hawkins (Happy Go Lucky, Made in Dagenham), Craig Roberts (Jane Eyre), and Paddy Considine (who made a big splash at this year’s Sundance with his feature film directorial debut, Tyrannosaur). Produced by Ben Stiller, Submarine is about Oliver (Roberts), a fifteen-year-old who is out to lose his virginity before his next birthday, and he also has to deal with the returning presence of a man in his mother’s life. And it’s set in the 1980’s. It’s been generally well-received on the festival circuit and writer/director Richard Ayoade directed Abed’s birthday episode of Community. Fun fact.
X-Men: First Class
I was and am nervous about this one because the marketing has been SO BAD since day one, yet as critics screenings have been rolling over the last couple of weeks early word is that X-Men: First Class is pretty damn good. General opinion seems to be that this does for the X-Men franchise what JJ Abrams’ Star Trek did that for that franchise. Based on this buzz, I’m moving X-Men: First Class up my list and am putting it down as the #1 superhero movie of the summer (current standings: X-Men, Captain America, Thor, Green Lantern). Michael Fassbender will be the breakout star but Lainey told me I should prepare to love Nicholas Hoult (UK’s Skins, A Single Man) extra hard after seeing him as geeky Hank McCoy/The Beast. And I’m sure James McAvoy is as delicious as ever, for those of you who dig him. I don’t seem to love him as much as everyone else.
June 8
One Lucky Elephant
This documentary is for the animal lovers among us. One Lucky Elephant traces the years-long quest of David Balding, a circus producer, as he tries to find a permanent home for Flora, the elephant he raised from infancy and wants to retire from performing when he realizes she doesn’t like to do it. Along the way Balding deals with issues such as diminishing natural habitat, the nature of wild animals, and his own bond with Flora. I suspect this will make me a cry a lot.
June 10
The Chameleon
Based on a true story, The Chameleon traces the path of Frederic Bourdin, a con artist who convinced a family that he was their missing thirteen-year-old son. Sort of a dark Catch Me If You Can. This movie hasn’t gotten stellar reviews, however, there was a throw-down between the director and the producer over the final cut, which the producers won and they recut the film without the director. So there’s some word that the director’s cut is better than the theatrical one. Which just makes me want to wait for the director’s cut to come to DVD, if I bother with this at all.
Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer
Heather Graham is in this! Remember when she was a big deal? And then it turned out she really wasn’t that good an actress, that she was basically just Rollergirl? Oh Rollergirl. This is solid kiddie fare, a vehicle designed for your tween daughter to enjoy. Based on Megan McDonald’s YA book series, Judy Moody reminds me of Ramona and Beezus—young girl creating mischief with her family. No idea if that’s an accurate comparison but it’s the one that strikes me. And as I’m not ten years old, I’m not likely to find out if I’m right or not. Alas and alack.
Road to Nowhere
Oh my god, this one has Shannyn Sossamon (A Knight’s Tale)! Remember her? She was supposed to be the second coming of Angelina Jolie (I think solely because she also has a big mouth), but then she named her kid “Audio Science” and there went her career. Dominique Swain (Lolita) is also in this, and she, too, was once supposed to be a big deal. Road to Nowhere is where former “next big things” go to die, apparently.
Super 8
I’m looking forward to this one. Though JJ Abrams burned me with the terrible, terrible ending of Cloverfield, I’m generally willing to see where he takes me. He has no follow through but few filmmakers have such imagination as Abrams. Super 8 has been under tight, tight wraps but the marketing (and an affiliation with Steven Spielberg) has drawn comparisons to ET. People who have actually gotten a peek at the movie, though, compare it to Stand By Me. Super 8 is about a group of kids in the 1970’s who witness a train wreck and then something is unleashed on their town. Kyle Chandler (Friday Night Lights COOOAAACCHHH) stars along with Elle Fanning (Somewhere), and newcomer Joel Courtney. The embargo is harsh and so far has been obeyed by the film press but expect a deluge of adoration as soon as it lifts. This one will be BIG.
The Trip
I reviewed The Trip earlier this year—see the complete review here. Suffice it to say, this movie is well worth your $11.
Trollhunter
A Norwegian import, Trollhunter isn’t a straight horror movie but an action hybrid about a group of students who stumble across a troll hunter. It played to solid reviews at Sundance in January. This is one I’m interested in finding if it comes close enough.
Viva Riva!
Another foreign import, Viva Riva! comes from the Democratic Republic of Congo. The action revolves around the criminal element in Kinshasa and a store of gasoline. Reviews are mixed and my interest is nil.
June 17
The Art of Getting By
Confession: I’m not a huge Emma Roberts fan. I’m not a big Julia Roberts fan, either, and everything that bugs me about the aunt is present in the niece. Emma’s not the worst young actress out there, but she’s definitely not earning her keep with me. The Art of Getting By is another Sundance selection (then titled Homework), and it’s about high school kids. Freddie Highmore (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and how is now virtually unrecognizable courtesy of puberty) also stars, as a depressed outcast high school student who finds an unexpected kinship with the popular but misunderstood girl (Roberts). Gee. Sounds faaaaaaaascinating.
Green Lantern
Of all the superhero movies, this is the one I think will do the worst. Not that I expect it to completely tank, I just think it won’t do as well as the others. The character is little-known by the general public and though Ryan Reynolds is popular, people seem to prefer him in comedies, not action movies. Also, the SFX of Green Lantern are concerning. I can’t be the only one who thinks that Reynolds’ CGI suit is ridiculous. And then there’s Blake Fucking Lively, who was so terrible uttering just one line in the first trailer that they’ve edited her out of subsequent trailer cuts. Did they really expect people to believe Lively as an avionics engineer? I mean, really?
Mr. Popper’s Penguins
After reading Mr. Popper’s Penguins as an eight-year-old, I wanted a penguin of my own SO BAD. Every time I went to a zoo or aquarium I tried to think of ways to smuggle a penguin out. I would name him Pippen The Penguin and he would live in my bathtub, which I would fill with ice. I had it all planned out. But I am no longer eight and I’m not sure that present-day children are still reading Mr. Popper’s Penguins, and I’m also not sure that there is anyone left on the planet who still finds Jim Carrey funny, so I’m not feeling this one at all. This movie looks terrible all around.
My Afternoons with Marguerite
Gerard Depardieu stars alongside fellow French actor Gisele Casadesus in this story about an illiterate man (Depardieu) who becomes friends with a well-read older woman (Casadesus). It’s a pure friendship fable and reviews have been overwhelmingly positive. I was recently nonplussed by another French import, Queen to Play, though, so I might be a while warming up to My Afternoons with Marguerite. I’m also not a huge fan of Depardieu. I’ve always thought he was kinda overrated. Am I the only one?
June 24
A Little Help
Jenna Fisher (The Office) and Chris O’Donnell star in this dramedy about a widowed mother whose son lies a lot. They try to pass it off like the plot is more complicated than that but it isn’t. It’s just about a boy who is a lying liar and his mom. I like Fischer on The Office but she’s a TV Girl to me—any more than thirty minutes and I start getting annoyed with her presence. And I’ve never gotten the appeal of O’Donnell—SO BORING. Just like this movie. Boring and unspecial and not worth $11.
Bad Teacher
I’ve got Hopes for this comedy. The trailer cracks me up every time—maybe because I’m a sucker for Jason Segel (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, How I Met Your Mother). He outweighs my dislike for Cameron Diaz and her fucked up face (can’t tell if she’s fucking with it or just not aging well—too much sun exposure, Cammy?). Justin Timberlake also stars but he doesn’t irk me when he’s being funny. I didn’t hate him in The Social Network like everyone else, mostly because I thought he was basically playing himself, and I think he can be effective in supporting comedic parts. I don’t worry about him in this movie but I do worry about him in Friends With Benefits in July. He’s going to have to carry more of that movie than he does in Bad Teacher, where Diaz and Segel will be doing the heavy lifting.
A Better Life
I’m a little bit puzzled as to why this movie is getting a wide release. A Better Life follows Carlos, an East LA gardener (Demian Bichir, Weeds and Che) who commutes across town to care for the lawns and landscapes of wealthy Westside Los Angelenos and is trying to keep his son out of trouble in the barrio. It’s a small, human-driven drama that reeks of the arthouse, not the Cineplex. Color me confused. But it’s directed by Chris Weitz, whose previous credit is Twilight: New Moon, and A Better Life is being released by Twilight’s studio, Summit. That probably has a lot to do with it.
Cars 2
It’s Pixar. It’s the sequel to the popular kiddie flick Cars. It’ll make $500 million and be one of the top-grossing movies of the summer/year. But the Cars franchise is Pixar’s weakest link and no one expects this to be a big critical achievement for the animation studio. The story revolves around talking cars and the second entry into the series introduces a spy element. Spy cars. Okay. Interesting footnote: Cars preceded Ratatouille, one of Pixar’s harder sells. Cars 2 precedes 2012’s Brave, which is, to me, Pixar’s toughest sell yet. I don’t think that scheduling is accidental.
Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop
TEAM COCO FOR LIFE.
This documentary follows O’Brien during his live Legally Prohibited From Being Funny On TV Tour after he was fired from The Tonight Show in that Jay Leno-induced debacle. The doc played to huge applause at SXSW earlier this year and if you saw Conan’s 60 Minutes interview, you know he had a lot (A LOT) of anger left over after his dismissal from The Tonight Show. Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop follows him through the darkest period of his career, before the light at the end of the tunnel emerged via TBS. I am really, really looking forward to this.
June 29
Transformers: The Dark of the Moon
This will be the biggest movie of the summer. The only thing that will come close to it is Cars 2. I don’t expect Transformers 3 to be a good movie in any sense of the term, but I did enjoy the original Transformers as a fun piece of mindless entertainment. At his best, Michael Bay combines flashy visuals with sarcastic humor and just enough plot to function. That formula worked for #1 and I expect it to be back at work in #3. A lot of this rides on Shia LaBeouf, which is why he was cast in this franchise in the first place. At current, he’s the only 25-and-under actor capable of carrying a movie this size. With Bay determined to prove he isn’t the shittiest filmmaker on the planet (debatable), and LaBeouf anchoring this movie instead of those stupid autobots (the shittiness of these movies is directly related to how much time the autobots spend standing around talking), Transformers 3 will undoubtedly be stupid, but it should also be fun.
We’re back with the summer movie preview, a weekend-by-weekend breakdown of all the movies coming out this summer. I figured out a better way of working these previews out—instead of killing myself trying to crank out all this stuff at once (and probably you, trying to read it), I’ll be posting the breakdowns once a month, the week before each month begins (i.e., the May preview posting before the first weekend of May, and so on). Better, yeah?
Buckle up, kids, this is a very busy summer.
May 6
An Invisible Sign
I’m a little bummed out that all signs (ha, pun) point to this being a not-good movie, since it’s based on a novel by my former (and one of my favorite) writing professor, Aimee Bender’s An Invisible Sign of My Own. Jessica Alba stars as Mona Gray, a math prodigy and general oddball who is an elementary math teacher. 1) Alba is a terrible actress so I don’t trust her to carry this story, 2) I don’t buy Alba as a math prodigy OR an oddball. Though awesome character actor JK Simmons (Juno, Spider-Man) also stars, I have hated that Alba got cast since 2008, when it happened. This is a great book, but it was adapted by Pamela Falk and Michael Ellis, the team responsible for inflicting The Wedding Planner on us. Bad writers + bad actress = bad movie. Bummed. Out.
The Beaver
The sad thing about The Beaver, is that it actually looks like it’s probably pretty good Strike that—it’s terrible. The Beaver blows chunks. The premise is silly—depressed middle-aged man (Gibson) goes nuts and starts using a beaver puppet to talk for him—yet director Jodie Foster does find pockets of sympathy here and there. But it’s not enough to save The Beaver from its own ludicrousness, or the permanent double-entendre that is Gibson’s performance. Charming young actors Anton Yelchin (Charlie Bartlett) and Jennifer Lawrence (Winter’s Bone) are wasted amid the rampant stupidness of this movie, and the adroitly serious performances by their older counterparts, Gibson and Foster crush whatever charisma they bring to the screen. With a lighter touch (and a different leading man) The Beaver could’ve been something interesting, even special. Unfortunately, it’s too heavy handed and despite Gibson giving a good performance, it’s too much like watching him unravel again to be enjoyable. Am disappointed in Foster. This was a misstep all the way around.
Caterpillar
This is a Japanese arthouse import that won’t reach much further than its initial limited platform. Caterpillar revolves around Lieutenant Kurokawa, a decorated veteran of the Second Sino-Japanese War. He returns home a hero, and also a multiple amputee. With no arms and legs, Kurokawa’s wife must care for him. Sounds kinda depressing but reviews are generally positive. If you’re an arthouse junkie, it might be worth a look.
Daydream Nation
I want to like Kat Dennings (Thor, Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist) yet I can’t quite get on board with her. And after the horrors of Nick and Norah, I’m even less inclined to deal with Dennings in Daydream Nation. She stars as Caroline, a high school student that gets in the center of a triangle with the class stoner (Reece Thompson, some TV guy) and her teacher (Josh Lucas, Sweet Home Alabama). Sounds kinda meh but I do like Lucas and I know I should like Dennings. I’ll get around to it eventually. Just not this summer.
Forks Over Knives
This documentary posits that we’re unhealthier than ever despite all our medical and technological advances, and that the trend can be reversed if we’d all just be all-organic vegans. Um, no thanks. I like my burgers and steaks, thanks. While I think we could all eat healthier, I have zero desire to be a vegan. That’s miserable. Also, this documentary is apparently based on The China Study, a low-cholesterol vegan diet which is controversial and heavily debated. You can decide if this is for you, but I don’t like documentaries that try to convince me of things. Just lay out the facts, philosophies and arguments and let me decide. Don’t preach. Especially when it involves not eating delicious, delicious meat.
Hey Boo: Harper Lee and To Kill a Mockingbird
In honor of the fiftieth anniversary of the publishing of To Kill a Mockingbird, first time writer-director Mary Murphy examines the history of one of the greatest novels in the American canon. Harper Lee never wrote a second novel nor gave an interview after 1964. Using interviews, Murphy traces the impact of Mockingbird and Lee, including her virtual disappearing act. I’m not sure I’m going to run out to theaters to see this, but I will definitely get around to it eventually.
Hobo with a Shotgun
Rutger Hauer stars as a hobo who has a shotgun. Why do you need to know anything else?
I’m Not Jesus Mommy
Speaking of preachy…I’m Not Jesus Mommy is basically the worst-case scenario for cloning. Using blood from the Shroud of Turin (because of course, people are just scraping up the Shroud for cloning purposes), a boy is cloned and is raised as the son of a cancer survivor desperate for a child. Though cloned from (allegedly) holy DNA, after he’s born (hatched?), natural disasters and plagues begin afflicting the earth. So obviously you know where this is going. If I want to see a movie about a creepy kid with religious overtones, I’ll just watch The Omen.
Jumping the Broom
I’m not sure this movie is actually any better than Something Borrowed, but in a battle of trailers, Jumping the Broom displays a lot more charm. Jason (Laz Alonso, Avatar) and Sabrina (Paula Patton, Precious) are in a hurry to get married before Sabrina is transferred to China. The rushed nature of their nuptials, however, doesn’t allow much time for their families to get to know one another. Sabrina is from a wealthy family with a convenient Martha’s Vineyard estate, and Jason is from a working-class family that has some reverse-snobbery working for them. The families fight because they’re just so darn different, at least until they discover that they’re not so different after all. Also starring Angela Basset and Loretta Devine, this doesn’t look totally repellent, as far as rom-coms go, thanks to some solid chemistry from a solid cast.
October
Imported from Peru, October is a about a moneylender, Clemente, saddled with a baby he had with a prostitute, and the incursion into his life by his spiritual neighbor who helps him care for his kid. This prompts Clemente to engage in soul-searching and life-changing. Sounds pretty basic, but this is the kind of movie that can be good despite its simplicity. Or it could be horrible, like The Strange Case of Angelica, which is one of the worst foreign films (or any film, really) that I’ve ever seen.
Passion Play
Megan Fox is a stripper with angel wings and Mickey Rourke wants to save her from Bill Murray. This movie bombed at TIFF last September and was originally rumored to be going straight to DVD, but it is actually getting a New York/LA release courtesy of Image Entertainment. It looks really awful, and if this is supposed to convince us that Megan Fox is worth more than her fake face and fake tits, it isn’t succeeding. Oh, and remember how Rourke said he thought Fake Face was a great actress? Yeah, he took it back.
Something Borrowed
Ginnifer Goodwin stars with Kate Hudson (who at this point is contractually required to appear in no less than three rom-coms a year) and Colin Egglesfield (veteran of All My Children) in the adaptation of Emily Griffin’s book about posh New Yorkers planning a posh New York wedding and having a posh New York affair. I could care less about this movie. It’s not that I don’t like romantic comedies—I grew up watching them with my mother and I’m a sucker for these things—it’s just that if Kate Hudson is in it I assume it’s going to be crap. She’s never made a rom-com I’ve enjoyed. I also can’t believe John Krasinski (The Office) is in this, and as the BFF no less. Not even a leading man! Did he run over someone’s cat and this is how he’s making amends? There’s no other logical explanation.
There Be Dragons
Wes Bentley is back! I had such a crush on him in high school. Remember Wes Bentley? The weird neighbor kid in American Beauty? After kicking the drug habit that wrecked his career, Bentley is re-emerging from the rubble with There Be Dragons, which unfortunately for Wes and his career rebirth, looks like it kinda sucks. Following the divergent paths of two friends during the Spanish Civil War, the movie is about the founder of Opus Dei. Which could totally be an interesting movie, and writer/director Roland Joffe (The Killing Fields) is no one to sneeze at, but look at this trailer and tell me this doesn’t seem like a mess. Because it looks like a mess. At least Bentley has more projects lined up—he’s just been cast in The Hunger Games.
Thor
I’ll admit it, that despite the burgeoning good reviews from critics, I’m still nervous about Thor. It still looks so DUMB. Every time I see a TV spot or a trailer I think, “That looks so DUMB”. I do expect it to be huge, though. I think it will have a massive opening, probably one of the biggest of the entire year, but I wonder about Thor’s ability to sustain momentum. Like, if it’s as dumb as it looks, it’s going to die quickly. I kind of think Captain America will end up with a bigger overall gross, even if it has a lesser opening weekend. Or not. At this point, I don’t know. Critics are going so nuts for Thor, but the man on the street still seems like, “Thor what?” Like no one really gets what this movie is about still and it’s opening. Either way, Chris Hemsworth is about to be a big star.
When Harry Tries to Marry
This could be subtitled, “Haha, Indian people are quaint and funny with their arranged marriages!” Harry (newcomer Rahul Rai) is an Indian-American guy scared of heartbreak after suffering through his parents’ divorce. In order to avoid the same fate, he engages a relative to play traditional matchmaker and arrange a marriage to a nice Indian girl for him. While the arrangements are being made, however, Harry meets Theresa (Stefanie Estes, nothing I’ve ever heard of), a New Yorker and very clearly from the first frame the woman he’s destined to be with. This movie doesn’t look bad, it just looks utterly predictable. I feel like the trailer pretty much lays out the entire story, so why should I bother sitting through two hours when two minutes achieves the same effect?
May 11
City of Life and Death
This is the second movie this month dealing with Second Sino-Japanese War (the other is Caterpillar). City of Life and Death is a dramatization of the Nanking Massacre, a terrible event that occurred in 1937 when the Japanese Army captured the former capital of China. The exact statistics are debatable—the Chinese say there were 300,000 victims but the Japanese offer a much lower number—but the fact is a lot of people were killed and a lot of women were raped over a six week period (it’s also known as the Rape of Nanking, which is also the title of a book detailing the event). Directed by Chuan Lu, one of the best of China’s young crop of filmmakers, City of Life and Death has drawn a lot of praise around the world for its style and brutally honest approach to the subject matter. He’s one to watch on the international scene for sure. This movie will be terribly, terribly depressing. Want to ruin your summer? Go see this and Beautiful Boy back-to-back.
May 13
The Big Bang
Antonio Banderas is in this movie. Tony Flags is not a guy I’ve ever really enjoyed. Never seen the sex appeal, never thought he was that great of an actor. And is it just me or do you hear Puss In Boots every time Tony Flags speaks? So I could care less about this movie. It’s supposed to be a noir-ish tale about a private eye (Tony Flags) hired to find a missing prostitute who seems to have absconded with a fortune in diamonds. Yeah, okay. At least The Big Bang has William Fichtner going for it. I really, really like William Fichtner. This movie actually has a really random cast that includes Sam Elliot, Delroy Lindo and James Van Der Beek. Yeah. Okay.
Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids has a comic pedigree a mile long. It’s directed by Paul Feig, a veteran of television comedies including Arrested Development, Bored to Death, Nurse Jackie, 30 Rock and The Office, as well as creating and writing Freaks & Geeks. Comic maven Judd Apatow is a producer and it’s co-written by SNL star Kristen Wiig, who also stars. This movie looks super funny and after a screening at SXSW everyone was losing their shit at how hilarious it was. Though it’s being marketed as “The Hangover for women”, I suspect Bridesmaids is probably a lot better. Not that The Hangover isn’t funny, because it is, but it’s kick-to-the-groin funny where I think Bridesmaids will be a more character-driven comedy with the clashing personalities of the different women creating most of the humor. Maya Rudolph (SNL), Rose Byrne (X-Men: First Class, Damages), Melissa McCarthy (Gilmore Girls and that unspeakable Mike & Molly) and Ellie Kemper (The Office) also star.
Cameraman: The Life and Work of Jack Cardiff
Another documentary, this time tracing the life of legendary cinematographer Jack Cardiff, who died in 2009. He worked on such films as War & Peace, The African Queen. Black Narcissus, The Red Shoes and The Prince and the Showgirl. Widely regarded as one of the greatest cinematographers in the history of cinema, the doc includes interviews with Lauren Bacall, Martin Scorsese and Kirk Douglas, among others, I really want to see this since I got into film through photography and cinematography is a make-or-break element of good filmmaking for me. The doc received huge praise last year following the Cannes Film Festival and is a “should watch” for anyone interested in the history and making of movies.
Everything Must Go
Will Ferrell puts on his serious face for this dramedy about a man who loses his job and his wife in one day. When Nick, a recovering alcoholic, relapses he loses everything and comes home to find his wife has thrown all of his stuff on the lawn. With nothing to do and nowhere to go, Nick takes up residence on his lawn, ultimately staging a yard sale to get rid of all his stuff. The trailer is cute but not earth-shattering. It certainly doesn’t look as engaging as Stranger Than Fiction, Ferrell’s other trip into existential serio-comedy. I’ve been looking forward to this one, though, because I do think Ferrell has more range than he usually shows. Also starring Rebecca Hall (The Town), Laura Dern and Christopher Jordan Wallace (son of Notorious BIG and Faith Evans).
The First Grader
Warning: This movie will make you cry. Based on the true story of an eighty-something ex-freedom fighter in Kenya, The First Grader is about Kimani Ng’ang’a Maruge (Oliver Litondo, a former Kenya Television Network news editor-turned-actor whose credits include Sheena and The Ivory Hunters), a Mau-Mau freedom fighter who was too poor to afford an education until 2000, when Kenya declared education free for all. And so Kimani enrolls in a class alongside six-year-olds in order to learn to read and write. It looks incredibly saccharine but please. Like it wouldn’t totally have us all in tears.
Hesher
Joseph Gordon-Levitt stars as Hesher, the ultimate layabout loser, is a loner and a misanthrope who lives in a van (down by the river) until he hooks up with TJ (Devon Brochu, Rubber) and his recently widowed father, Paul (Rainn Wilson, The Office). Uninvited, Hesher begins squatting in Paul and TJ’s garage and brings his brand of anarchy to their lives with predictable and ultimately positive results. Hesher premiered at Sundance last year to largely positive reviews, though some stick in the mud critics have loathed it. Natalie Portman co-stars, because when isn’t she in a movie this year.
Priest
Oh Paul Bettany. First choice to play George VI in The King’s Speech yet he ends up in this vampire/comic book/pseudo-religious/post-apocalyptic mess brought to us by Screen Gems, purveyors of fine cinematic crap. Have you seen Legion? Cripes Legion was awful. Seriously one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. And Priest looks a whole lot like Legion. I love you, Paul, but you have got to start choosing better projects.
Skateland
Twilight’s Ashley Greene and the revolting Shiloh Fernandez (Red Riding Hood) star in this 1980’s set story about a skating rink manager in East Texas. Ritchie (Fernandez) is said manager, the skating rink is his only source of real happiness, and is on the brink of being shut down. His girlfriend (Greene) wants him to be more than he is and has ambitions beyond their small town. There is drama, angst, heartbreak and Eighties music. This opened at Sundance last year to mixed reviews. I say save your $10 and Netflix Adventureland instead. It’s the best 1980’s coming of age movie not actually made in the 1980’s. Also, it doesn’t have disgusting Shiloh Fernandez, but the totally worth it Jesse Eisenberg.
May 18
Louder than a Bomb
Fans of slam poetry unite! Following four spoken-word “poetry teams” in the Chicago area as they prep for the world’s largest youth slam, Louder than a Bomb is a documentary meant to inspire and uplift. Slam poetry is something that is easily mocked, but when it’s good there’s no denying its power to connect language and feeling. By focusing on teenagers who use slam poetry to express themselves, Louder than a Bomb shows that connection and how it can inspire and motivate kids to accomplish something for themselves. Critics have been flipping out for this doc and it’s drawing comparisons to the spelling bee documentary Spellbound. With its affecting message and focus on talented kids, I expect Louder than a Bomb could break out in a similar way.
May 20
Beautiful Boy
This is the most depressing movie I’ve ever heard of. Starring Michael Sheen, Maria Bello and Kyle Gallner (A Nightmare on Elm Street, this year’s Red State), Beautiful Boy examines a family coping in the aftermath of unspeakable tragedy. Gallner plays Sam Carroll, an average college student who perpetrates a school shooting on his campus. Sheen and Bello are his parents, left behind to pick up the pieces in the wake of their son’s crime/suicide. I mean really, when have you ever heard of a more depressing movie? I hate depressing movies because they make so depressed, but I really like all the actors involved, and as torturous as it seems, Beautiful Boy also looks really, really good. I’m going to end up seeing this but probably on Netflix, so I can weep in private instead of in front of strangers at the theater. Because let’s face it—there’s no seeing this movie and not crying.
Earthwork
In 1994 a “crop artist” named Stan Herd made an earthwork sculpture in New York City on land owned by Donald Trump. Earthwork tells that story with John Hawkes (Winter’s Bone) as Stan Herd. Earthwork began making the festival rounds back in 2009 and is now getting a limited release due to Hawkes’ increased profile following his Oscar nomination for Winter’s Bone. Earthwork isn’t an extraordinary movie—it’s pretty standard human spirit stuff—but Hawkes is a phenomenal actor and is always worth watching. And the movie has a nice message about heart and perseverance and the hopefulness of art, so whatever. It won’t kill you if you watch it.
The Lion of Judah
This is an animated kids’ movie about a lamb trying to avoid slaughter before Passover, during the time of Christ. It’s basically a retelling of the Easter story from the perspective of the various animals who participated in it (the sacrificial lamb, a donkey, et cetera). I shit you not. That is the plot. The Easter story as recounted by a sacrificial lamb. It features the vocal talents of Ernest Borgnine and Scott Reeves Eastwood or whatever he’s calling himself these days. (Scott is from Clint Eastwood’s horde of illegitimate children.) So there’s that. Oh yeah, the animation is AWFUL. It looks like one of those celebrity recreation videos they show on Korean television.
Midnight in Paris
Woody Allen’s latest is opening the Cannes Film Festival next week because yes. They love Woody Allen in Cannes. I do not love Woody Allen. I have not loved Woody Allen since 1981. I have zero interest in this movie. Starring Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Michael Sheen, doucheface Adrien Brody and the French first lady (in her film debut), Carla Bruni Sarkozy. It’s about an engaged couple traveling in Paris and finding out that the grass may not actually be greener on the other side. Or something like that. All Woody Allen movies are the same.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Because we needed a fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie? The fourth time out for Captain Jack & Co. brings a new story (something about the Fountain of Youth and mermaids), a new villain (Deadwood’s Ian McShane as Blackbeard), and a new love interest-type-person for Jack Sparrow (Penelope Cruz). The trailer is loud, stuff blows up, Captain Jack is cheeky—par for the course for this franchise. Director Gore Verbinski didn’t return for this installment, instead yielding his duties to Rob Marshall (Chicago, Nine). Pirate jazz hands? I’m not very excited for this but I think it’ll do well. Kids love Captain Jack.
May 26
The Hangover Part II
Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms and Justin Bartha reunite for a sequel to 2009’s uber-popular The Hangover. Part II looks exactly like Part I, just in Thailand and with a monkey, but damn if this trailer doesn’t make me laugh every time. Galifianakis saying “Thigh-land” cracks me up. I don’t expect this movie to break new ground, but I think it’ll be a huge crowd pleaser. And I do think it will be funny, though Bridesmaids will likely feel fresher. The Hangover Part II will be one of the biggest of the summer.
Kung Fu Panda 2
The best part of Kung Fu Panda 2 is that will be presented at the Cannes Film Festival which means Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (who voices a character in the movie) will be on the Croisette, loved up and glamorous. Other than that, could not care less about this movie. Jack Black is annoying even in voice form, but kids will turn out in droves for this. It won’t best Pixar’s Cars 2, but Kung Fu Panda 2 will be big.
May 27
The Tree of Life
This is the summer’s arthouse hit. Terrence Malick’s fifth film, and the first in six years, wasn’t ready for Cannes last year but it bows this May on the Riviera to sustained hype. Malick is one of the best filmmakers working today, period, and The Tree of Life is being touted as his masterpiece. I have to see it before I make that kind of proclamation, but the trailer footage is gorgeous and a lot of people are touting Brad Pitt’s performance as a strict father as the one that could win him an Oscar. But it’s not Pitt, or co-star Sean Penn, who will be grabbing headlines when The Tree of Life opens. The scene-stealer is Jessica Chastain, who will be catapulted to the top by her performance as the kind mother opposite Pitt’s stern dad. Seriously, mark it down. Jessica Chastain will be in the center of the 2012 Oscar race.
